With the Super Bowl three days away let’s talk some trash — or at least the accompanying outbursts known in a former life as showing off. Apparently any number of tics and agitation from athletes celebrating anything from a championship to a bad tackle are now seen as entertainment and therefore free from the bondage of decorum. We have also gone as far as to rate and rank these twitches and two-steps, debating, for example, that a Chad Johnson end zone dance is better than a Terrell Owens taunting shuffle at mid-field on the opposing team’s logo.

I contend that while both Johnson and Owens have football talent, we have been content to pay more attention to their entertainment value. The result has been an overestimation of their skills. Owens, for example, covered more than any NFL player in the last two years, led the league in dropped passes. How entertaining is that?

There is also no hierarchy of celebration, as if players have no discriminatory skills, unable to differentiate between a first down and field house fire. This is why during the Super Bowl you might see several players launch into a number straight out of “Dancing with the NFL Stars” after a particularly hard tackle - 15 yards down the field.

My observation is that nearly all the really good players, difference makers like Tomlinson, Manning, Brady skip the show boat. Some argue that race is a factor, but my sense is that stupidity is an equal opportunity employer. Besides, the father of the modern taunt and outburst was the very white Mark Gastineau of the Jets.

Let’s not forget other sports, too, especially basketball where we can read lips and see faces. I’m framing the point in football only because we approach the season’s biggest game and stage.

Finally, I think the spontaneous celebration, unscripted and goofy sometimes, is just part of the game. The other stuff is nonsense, deliberate joy sometimes seemingly more important than the act being celebrated.

I’m sure you have your unfavorites. Here, in no particular order, are mine, five little dittties that make me crazy. We might see a few Sunday, but they can be found any time at any NFL, NBA, MLB, college, even high school or middle school game or perhaps at the local YMCA or church league.

1. The Nod - This can be either the affirmative as in “Yes, I can do this all day” at which point one wonders why said the Nodder just doesn’t quit nodding (shutting up metaphorically) and do it; or the negative as in “No, you can’t stop me” at which point you wish you had a large blunt instrument to get his attention. My favorite Nod story is the NCAA basketball player who throws down a ferocious dunk, complete with an ensuing Nod (affirmative). Meanwhile the other team was racing to the other end of the court for an easy lay up. Resisting a “Yeah, baby, all day, baby” with a Nod (affirmative) in such situations will put hair on your chest. Baby!

2. The Chest Pound (The Kong) - The King Kong move is very dramatic, but completely off base and self-centered. Perhaps a tennis player or a bowler, whose individual effort is the crux of the contest can use the Kong, but a team player pounding his chest misses the point. He should be pounding his teammate’s chest, the guy that blocked for him or fed him the ball. Stop it!

3. The Slash - Now a penalty, the thumb across the throat is cheap beyond cheap, an overstatement used by simpletons when blocking, tackling, hitting, throwing, etc. don’t seem to be enough.

4. The Dance - With a million variations, I am tired of the obviously choreographed numbers to note something good on the field. Not only do the dancers often have no idea what’s good (see hierarchy discussion above), they nearly always expend more energy dancing than they do on the play that precipitated it.

5. The X High Five - I love the Bump and the High Five (and the Low), but when the greeting requires an on-field choreographer and advance team from the Hand Jive Institute, we may have passed into another universe altogether.